June 30, 2010
His pneumonia is still full force, but they have a hold on it. His temperature is down to 100.1 or so and he is responding more to my voice. He still has not followed any commands though.
Found out yet about another broken bone, in his lower left leg, fibula something or other. At this point, I am asking "what the h#ll is not broken".
I was surrounded by love today at the hospital, and have one of my angels (Kim) with me tonight to sleep over. How comforting is that!
Be sure to see my story here on the Gazette as well.
Today you heard my voice and reacted to it. I know you were trying to say something. I was trying to comfort you to tell you that you were being taken care of and when I said that Melissa, Greg, Andrea, My friends, Mom and Papa were looking after me, you started shaking your head up and down like you were happy to hear that.
I asked you if you wanted to know what happened to you and you shook your head yes. I told you you were in an accident last week and had lots of broken bones, and that your lungs were weak and that is why you can't talk. When I started to tell you about your motorcycle, you opened your eyes and looked at me. I lost it. I had to compose myself and tell you your bike was OK and you kept looking at me like you were relieved. I hope you will forgive me for telling you this, because at the time I couldn't tell you that your bike is not OK. One of my "angels" Kim, who you have never met is with me tonight and staying with me so I am not alone. I let Sam spend the night with Kenna to give her a break. Honey, I miss you so much. I told you this and I felt you hear me. Here I go again, welling up, and crying as I write this. Goodnight sweetheart, I love you, I miss you, I need you, and I want you home so badly.
June 29, 2010
Hugh now has pneumonia. I was expecting this with the amount of fluids in his lungs. We also found out his left knee has a femoral head fracture, soft tissue damage and torn ligaments. At this point we are wondering what is NOT broken?
The pulmonary doctor put Hugh back on the Versed (the heavy "amnesia" sedation medicine) and I am very happy about that. I think because of his lungs and how much Hugh was anxious yesterday, is why.
His fever is still running. 103 was the highest today, that's even with the ice/cold water blanket thingy ice packs, Tylenol etc. However, was done to 101 when I left. The fever could be from the pneumonia? Who knows. The cultures should be back tomorrow of his blood.
They also removed his central line in his chest and put a pick-line in. That procedure went smoothly.
Hugh, I had a rough day, just very high strung, very nervous, and hyped up. I am going to call the my doctor in the morning for something to calm my nerves. I promise sweety, I am taking care of myself. Mom, Papa, Melissa, Andrea and all my other angels are making sure of this. You know how I get, I get hyper and over emotional. But you know what? People are telling me differently. They are telling me how strong I am. You probably would get mad at me several times, and cross your arms like you do, and give me that look I hate. Funny enough, I miss that look I hate. You know the look you give me, that stern, "Shelley" look. Sweetheart, you were so peaceful today and tonight. That made me feel so at ease because I know you were "resting".
I love you, I need you, I want you home. I am scared still and my throat is welling up, you know that knot thing inside, but for some reason tears aren't coming out. I wonder if you run out of tears? Sometimes I can't cry, and not sure why. Like today, I welled up, but then couldn't cry. Goodnight sweetheart, I pray tonight you rest comfortably. I miss you terribly xoxoxoxox
If You are So Inclined to Help with Medical Expenses etc. You Can Donate Here on this yellow "donate" button.
June 28, 2010
So here I sit, my husband completely broken from shoulder to toe on a breathing machine and I'm not to worry about things. I'm screaming on the inside and broken down so terribly right now.
Hugh had an MRI on his left leg to see how severe that knee is broken. His right foot has some horrible sores that freaked me out. He was so badly burned (we think from the exhaust pipe) on his right leg so I assumed these were burns we were looking. They don't know what they are. A "wound nurse" is being called in tomorrow to assess it.
After his MRI, he became very agitated and stressed, he tries to open his eyes, and grimace. Nurses are unsure if it's pain or stimulus (like my voice) he is reacting to. Seeing him like this is extremely upsetting to me, because I don't know if he understands what his happening to him, or the fact he may just be in extreme pain. He still won't do "commands" when the nurses asks him to wiggle his toes, or squeeze their hand, or hold 2 fingers up etc.
They also decided to remove his "central line" and place a pick line instead. They think perhaps he has infection from the central line and when this is done (tomorrow, Tuesday), they will culture it to see if it's infected because he is still running a high fever.
I left there at 9:15 in tears once again dreading the thought of coming home alone. Thank God my Mom has been driving me home so I am not alone on the drive. Not that I can't do it, it's just so lonely. Now, Samantha is sick and throwing up. I think she is stressed, in combination with not eating right. Memphis our doggy, also threw up this morning, and appears very depressed. Why is this happening? I am so distraught.
I miss you so terribly sweetheart. Tonight was the hardest night leaving you. Each night it gets harder and harder leaving you. You were so stressed and I know you were trying to tell me something. I could feel it. I am so frustrated not knowing what to do for you. I feel so helpless honey, I want to just curl up beside you and hold you, and tell you that everything is ok. I can't do it, I try to reach in through all the damned tubes and wires just to try to comfort you as best as I can. Hugh, are you hearing me.. please Hugh I want you so badly. I miss you so much, I am in agony and so heartbroken as I write this and crying right now so badly..Honey, please get better.. I need you so much. Love you so much, Shelley
June 27, 2010
Hugh is completely off the Versed, which is the "amnesia" medicine the nurses call it. He is pretty "snowed" just being on the Fentanyl alone (which is 100 times more stronger then morphine). They want him to show some "commands" like open his yes, show 2 fingers, wiggle his toes, etc. He has yet to do this.
HIGHLIGHTS: His fever is FINALLY reducing to 99.8/99.9 and that is after being on the cold water blanket thingy, tylenol, ice bags etc., for 2 days. His lungs are improving!! Meaning they are getting more gunk up and out.
Tomorrow is another day. My Mom has been an incredible support for me (as well as my angels) and I just can't bare the thought knowing she'll have to return to work eventually and leave me alone. She is my rock.
My Sweet Hugh. Today, the nurse told me I was not to "rouse" you only because your heart rate was going up dangerously high when you would be try to woken up/roused up etc. That was so hard for me not to do this. Sweetheart, I miss you so much. The minute I come home from the hospital, I am straight on my computer because I can't bare the thought of laying in that bed alone. The benedryl is helping me fall asleep faster, I've been taking 2 as you know, 1 kicks my butt. So 2 really kick my butt. Oh sweetheart, please please please get better. I keep telling myself I can't do this another day. Somehow I do though, and that is only because of my Mom, my angels, friends, Sam and Papa.
I took your robe and put it in Memphis' bed because he is depressed. I think hopefully this will comfort him. I love you so much darling. I miss you so much. I need you so much. Please hurry and get better.
If you are so inclined to help with medical expenses, etc. you can donate by clicking the yellow donate button. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Hugh remains in critical condition on this Saturday night, going on his 6th night into the hospital. Today, his fever rose, and the only way they are controlling it is with cold blanket thing that has water running in it, ice bags on his head and under his arms. They are still concerned with his lungs so full of fluid.
I am upset they are taking off his "amnesia" medicine, and reducing his pain medicine down a level. This is because they are trying to get him conscious now, to respond to "commands". My prayer tonight is he does these commands (like open his eyes, hold 2 fingers up, wiggle your toes), because if he does not, they are ordering a CT scan of his head tomorrow to rule out brain trauma/damage.
I stayed late until 10:00 pm or so, to see if I can help rouse him with my voice. He seems to respond to my voice (slightly) by wincing his eyes, or raising his eyebrows, like he was trying.
Samantha is having a hard time. She goes into the room to seem him, but within 20 seconds she is crying and it's too traumatic for her. I am not going to force her to go in there until she's more ready. It's just too hard for her.
My Mom drove me home tonight, which is a blessing because I can't tolerate the drive home alone from the hospital going home to no Hugh. I stay up as late as possible because I dread facing the bed alone. I am going to sleep on the sofa tonight in one of his tshirts for comfort. However, the sofa hurts my back. So I don't know.
Hugh, my darling, I know someday you will be reading this. I miss you terribly. I am so lonely and afraid. I am so scared right now. Hugh, tonight I told Melissa, while she was eating Panda Express, that I told her, that was our Saturday night dinner you and I always had. Tomorrow morning will be hard for me darling. Sunday morning is our brunch out morning, instead, I will be up at the hospital with you my sweetheart. Hugh, I love you. I want you home. I don't know how much longer I can take this without you home. It's killing me.
June 25, 2010
Anyhow I slept for about 5/6 hours. Benedryl helps me sleep. I had put off so much of my eBay business I had to stay home this morning to tie up loose ends. I didn't get to the hospital until after noon sometime. I was in a panic all morning long, feeling the urgency to be at the hospital "just in case".
Hugh had a good night. He is now being fed through a tube, so the nutrition now will help him heal. In additional to his massive bone breaks, they discovered his left knee is broken as well. On his right leg are massive burns/blisters and I am assuming from where the exhaust of the motorcycle must have been on his leg.
The pulmonary doctor is worried about the amount of fluid in his lungs, so they are keeping a watchful eye on this. He has a temperature not responding to Tylenol, so they are doing ice bags on his body. His color looks good, but he looks yellowish to me. I told the nurse, but they didn't seem to concerned.
They had lifted the "amnesia/sedative" medicine all last night and through the night. I wasn't too happy about this. Thankfully the pulmonary doctor put Hugh back on it. He is on high doses (100 times stronger them Morphine) of pain meds, along with this amnesia medicine so he is "snowed" as the nurse calls it.
I read him all his emails he received at the hospital. I don't know if he can hear me, I don't care. In fact, I am bringing one of his books to start reading to him.
I learned to day 9 people have been to donate blood in his name. I came home to many donations that was sent to me. I came to hundreds of messages in email, on Twitter, Facebook, thoughts, prayers, well wishes etc.
My Angels are organizing a benefit yard sale on Saturday, June, 26 at 5112 E. Killdee Street, Long Beach for Hugh and my family. My friend Bill at LBReport http://www.lbreport.com/news/jun10/hugh2.htm wrote up about it.
I thank you all for your continued love, support, prayers and thoughts.
Don't Tell Me...
Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know,
Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task, apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers that can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer, don't tell me how to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love, unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say,
"My friend, I really do care."
June 24, 2010
I stayed all day with him until 9:30 this evening. Driving home, I lost it, and sobbed the whole way home knowing I had to face an empty house without him and my bed. I am making my daughter sleep with me for comfort. This seems to be the hardest for me, the end of the day, knowing I have to come home and my darling Hugh not there. I can't stop crying. I go up and down. I am ok one minute, then 10 minutes later, I am crying. I can't help it and don't understand it really. I am scared and my mind keeps reeling with thoughts over and over again of the accident. I play it out in my mind over and over again of "how it happened".
My Angels were with me again today. That is what I call them. They know who they are. My Angels have banned together, cooked, bought and bought food, bought me a cell phone, organized a yard sale for my benefit to help me with my bills, made phone calls for me, filled out paperwork when I could not, organized blood to be donated, and most of all, given me the love, prayers, support and comfort I need most.
Thank you all for your support.
Hugh, I love you my sweetheart with all my heart and I miss you so much. I want you home. I can't face this emptiness.
People are asking to help, I am requesting prayers. If you are so inclined, you can donate to his help out with medical bills through Paypal here:
June 23, 2010
Today, 2 days after the accident, the trauma doctor okayed the orthopedic doctor his surgery to fix what needs to be fixed. Dr. Zinar (the orthopedic doctor) told me they would go in and do as much as possible but because of Hugh's unstable condition, they need to be careful of his lungs. To repair his pelvis they have to flip him over and they can't do this because his lungs aren't strong enough and he has a contusion too. So, they ended up
1. put his shoulder back into place
2. put pins in his upper arm bone (humerus)that was broken.
3. put a plate and pins in his pelvis (his pelvis was broken in 2) and a "temporary" pin at the back of his pelvis until they do part 2 of the surgery when Hugh is more stable (hopefully next week).
4. put pins/bar in his right femur that was broke in 2.
He is back in his CCU room, and about 3 hours after surgery, his heartrate went up dangerously high (over 200) and Hugh's trauma nurse put in a call to a the cardiologist. In addition to this, his right foot is turning blue and swelling, and his left knee now is swelling. As I left Hugh to come home, the xray techs were in taking xrays of this.As for the cardiologist, I won't know anything until I head back in the early morning.
As I left the hospital, I'm in a dream state. I keep thinking I am going to wake up and was only a bad dream. Unfortunately, this "bad dream" is an actual living nightmare. If it wasn't for "my angels" at my side, my sweet Mom, Dad, Andrea, Melissa, Kim, my daughter and her boyfriend, I couldn't have done this without them. They are the reason I am holding it together.
People have been pouring into Long Beach Memorial, donating blood in Hugh's name. I am ever so grateful to each and everyone of you for this.
I wish I could thank each of you individual for the prayers, wishes and thoughts.
I will continue to update my blog when I can. It helps me actually "deal" with some things. Sounds weird, but it just does.
I have received numerous emails (too many to count) and wish I could respond to each one individually.
All I know, is 1. I am not blaming God for this. 2. I have accepted this is going to be a life changing event for us. 3. I will take this one day at a time and not think about tomorrow.
My life has forever changed since June 21 and will never be the same.
I have so many people to thank, it's so hard. Please don't be offended for me forgetting. I'm not with it. I am so grateful for everyone who has or tried to donated blood in his name at the hospital.
People are asking how to help. I need prayers and if you are so inclined to help, there is a PayPal donation here:
June 22, 2010
Hi Everyone. I am blown away by the love, support, thoughts, prayers and
well wishes from everyone. I wish I could take the time to personally
thank each and everyone of you. Please know your support means so much to me right now. I have never in my life experienced trauma before, and it's all you that makes this easier for me. So, while I am balling my eyes out overwhelmed with emotion, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
It's going to be a long haul and knowing I have the love and support of you all will get me through this. My very close friends have been by my side as well as my Mom and Dad. As for visitors, he cannot have them, it's restricted to immediate family only.
Hugh is still in ccu, and in critical condition. They are giving him very high does of fluids to help stabilize his blood to "even it out" in layman's terms. His first (of many) surgeries is tentatively scheduled for in the morning (Wednesday). This will be on his pelvis to stabilize it some. His pelvic fracture is a life threatening injury so they will focus on this first IF he is strong enough and his body is showing less "shock/trauma".
This is all I have to report. I just thank you all for your love, prayers and thoughts.
He is currently receiving blood transfusions. He has a complete broken pelvis in two that is a life threatening injury. His other injuries are broken femur, broken ribs, broken lower back, broken shoulder, contusions to his kidney and lungs.
Please pray for his recovery and my strength during this time.
June 11, 2010
What a fabulous treat I have for your lingerie collection and a true little treasure to cherish for many years to come. A welcome addition to your vintage lingerie boudoir!
The color is what I describe as white with PINK trim and pink floral embroidery (color may vary from monitor to monitor), and created in 100% nylon. This has no stains or rips, one repair made in robe as shown in picture. ~*~Devastatingly beautiful~*~If you have never felt BLUE SWAN NYLON, you are in for a real treat. Comparable to VANITY FAIR TRICOT vintage nylon. Just like melting butter across your skin.
Available only here: Princess Vintage Lingerie Nightgown Peignoir Set
June 9, 2010
LAGUNA BEACH – Though he'd probably be riding his motorcycle anyway this summer, Dave Rusk has turned his hobby into a mission – to help kids with cancer.
The Laguna Beach County Water District employee and Lake Elsinore resident is gearing up for his second Ride for Wishes benefiting the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Rusk, whose nephew, Dylan, is in remission from leukemia, will ride his motorcycle from Orange County to New York, stopping in as many Wish houses along the way as possible. The roughly 2,700-mile ride will be tough, 47-year-old Rusk admits, but he hopes it will draw attention to Make-A-Wish's good work.
In 2007, while Dylan battled cancer, the foundation granted his wish to be a sheriff's deputy for a day. The experience cheered the boy, then 7, while the harsh drugs did their work to eradicate the disease.
"The emotional side of it is really where these kids get a lot of help from these wishes," Rusk said. "Their families too."
Dylan's father, Rusk's brother, would later die from leukemia himself. The first Ride for Wishes was born from the Rusk brothers' dream to ride to Alaska together one day. Dave Rusk completed that trip alone last summer, asking for donations to grant more children's wishes. He raised more than $7,000.
Rusk pays his own expenses for the rides, so all donations to the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Orange County and the Inland Empire. Checks can be mailed to Make-A-Wish Foundation of Orange County and the Inland Empire, 14232 Red Hill Ave., Tustin, CA 92780. Add Ride for Wishes in the memo line.
This year's ride will begin July 3. Follow Rusk's progress online at rideforwishes.blogspot.com.
June 7, 2010
What a fabulous treat I have for your lingerie collection and a true little treasure to cherish for many years to come. A welcome addition to your vintage lingerie boudoir!
The color is what I describe as SHEEREST BLACK (color may vary from monitor to monitor), and created in 100% rayon, and what the vintage textile industry dubbed as "Art Silk" as artificial silk. This has I am pretty sure cotton lace design, ultra GLAM bias cut and bias at the hemline for that FISHTAIL MERMAID appearance. Vintage items are rarely flawless and most have normal to little wear, minor picks/pulls in areas or a small age discoloration spot or two etc. This particular beautiful piece has NO FLAWS, IN MINT CONDITION, MUSEUM QUALITY.
Fashion from the 1930s ... the 1930's is an interesting period, both stylistically and historically.... of course history, fashion and style are all integrally related.
Generally fashions of the 1930s are thought of as glamorous and sensuous. This is the era of the big bands, dancing and night life.
The dresses are long and elegant, evening gowns were often backless and importantly there develops a very distinct difference between day-wear and evening wear.
Hollywood and the movies also begin to be very influential to the fashion industry as people wanted to wear the styles they had seen on the screen.
The French designer Madeleine Vionnet opened her own fashion house in 1912. She devised methods of bias cross cutting during the 1920s using a miniature model. She made popular the halter neck and the cowl neck.
The bias method has often been used to add a flirtatious and elegant quality to clothes. To make a piece of fabric hang and drape in sinuous folds and stretch over the round contours of the body, fabric pattern pieces can be cut not on the straight grain, but at an angle of 45 degrees.
It is sometimes said that Vionnet invented bias cutting, but historical evidence suggests that close fitting gowns and veils of the medieval period were made with cross cut fabrics. The Edwardians also made skirts that swayed to the back by joining a bias edge to a straight grain edge and the result was a pull to the back that formed the trained skirt. She did really popularize it and the resulting clothes are styles we forever associate with movie goddesses and dancers like Ginger Rogers.
Using her technique designers were able to produce magnificent gowns in satins, crepe-de-chines, silks, crepes and chiffons by cross cutting the fabric, creating a flare and fluidity of drapery that other methods could not achieve. Many of the gowns could be slipped over the head and came alive when put on the human form. Some evening garments made women look like Grecian goddesses whilst others made them look like half naked sexy vamps. Certain of her gowns still look quite contemporary.
There was a passion for sunbathing. Women tried to get tans and then show them off under full length backless evening dresses cut on the true cross or bias and which molded to the body. To show off the styles a slim figure was essential and that was getting easier for women who were educated and aware as many now used contraception and did not have to bear baby after baby unless desired.
June 4, 2010
1 Frou Frou Fashionista
2 Intimate Guide
3 Lingerie Blog
4 A Slip of a Girl
6 Trendy Lingerie
7 Confessions of a Lingerie Addict
8 Spokes 'n' Daggers
9 Sweet Cherry Vintage Lingerie
10 frankufotos Lingerie
11 Fashion Legwear
12 The Lingerie Blog
13 Sexy Lingerie Blog
14 Lingerie Weblog
16 Lingerie Diva's Diary
17 Eve's Apples Lingerie Blog
18 The Panty Drawer
19 Guilty Pleasures
20 Adventures in Lingerie
Ranking made by Wikio TOP VINTAGE BLOGS:
Be sure to see my VINTAGE LINGERIE HERE ON EBAY!
June 2, 2010
These particular panties come from the early 1950's and were a "Gift Panty". and I have found the ORIGINAL FREDEDICK'S CATALOG AD!
Description reads: Adam and Eve Panties. Naughty & New! Real FRENCH LACE with daring appliqued fig leaf of satin. Black only $3.49 Style No. 124
You can bid for these panties here offered by eBay seller MadlynJane
Please see all my vintage lingerie here!